bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
