Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
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basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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