I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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