My sheets look like a crime scene.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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