Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
