just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
