Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize