she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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