the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
