Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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