Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
