is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
