i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
