is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
