Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
