summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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