bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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