Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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