I love black thongs
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
