I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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