my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
