somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Randomize
