i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
