I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
