I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
