i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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