Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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