I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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