shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
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I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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