Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.