That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.