i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
