Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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