It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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