do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
