I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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