i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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