How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
