she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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