hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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