Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
