All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
