sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
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I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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