While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
