Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm just crazy horny about you
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
