My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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