If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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