how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
