well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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