New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
