So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
