No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I want a musical about memes.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
