So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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