Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
