I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
