well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
