Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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